The girl of his dreams

via delacroix

Maybe as she lays her head on a tear-stained pillow for the 135th night - alone - and slips blissfully into a world more beautiful than the one she came from, a world with him in it, he wakes up.

Maybe the moment he wakes up he wishes he didn't - wishes he could go back to his dreams, where he found her.

Maybe he gets out of bed and puts on a shirt and goes through the motions of daily life, passing literally hundreds of girls everywhere as he commutes to work or to college and back - some of whom catch his eye but he knows will never catch his heart.

Maybe sometimes when he looks at them he wonders if he'll ever find a girl that understands him or inspires him like she does, and maybe sometimes, if he thinks too much about it, it makes him sad.

Maybe other times he steals a glance at every girl he passes, hoping he'll find something to spark a recognition.

Maybe he wonders if he really met her, or if she doesn't really exist. Maybe he gets tired of trying to find her.

Maybe sometimes, he gets so tired, he allows himself to be distracted by some other girl - if only to stop thinking about her for awhile.

Maybe sometimes it works for awhile - and he forgets about her - and then the slightest thing like a beautiful smile, a brush of skin against skin, a kind word, a gentle gesture from some other girl reminds him all over again of her.

Maybe somewhere down the line he realizes he can't ever forget her, even if he tries. Maybe this thought scares him. Maybe this thought gives him hope. Maybe it makes him want to keep searching harder.

Maybe the next day, as she wakes up, he gets into bed - alone - and escapes into a world where finding her is not so difficult, a world that doesn't seem to limit the time and space between them like the one he came from.

Maybe the last thing he remembers of his time with her in that world as harsh sunlight pulls him back into this one is falling asleep with his arms wrapped around her, and maybe the memory is so vivid, so fresh, that the empty space between his arms and chest is startling and jarring.