I have the amazing privilege of attending a church led by two amazing pastors, Lindsay and Nathan Bruce (a husband and wife team), but I'm especially blessed to know and be challenged by Lindsay and the way she lives her life as a strong and passionate woman, in more ways than one.
At a recent Sisterhood gathering at Starbucks along Linthorpe Road, she shared with a bunch of girls and women some of the things she learned along the journey of her life, all of which really, really challenged me and so I thought I'd post some of them up to share with all you girls out there too. :)
1. "You have to start somewhere." Even the biggest dreams and loftiest accomplishments all started from somewhere. Or, in the words of Lao-Tzu, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I'm a deeply self-reflective person and I always tend to look back on life and think about how far I've come. Every time I do that, I think about how I never imagined I'd be where I am today, with the background I've come from. But it all started somewhere - with a dream to be more than I could ever imagine being.
2. "Connection is everything." Guys, even though they might not share personal things or talk about their feelings much with each other, tend to have each other's backs as 'bros'. There is an unspoken 'bro code' which dictates that you watch out for your brothers as they watch out for you. Women are notorious for having no such code of behavior, with back-stabbing, bitchiness, gossiping, and jealousy being the status quo when it comes to groups of women. I bet I'm not the only girl who finds it hard to open up to and trust other girls, and I've had more than one girlfriend remark that guys are easier to talk to because they're straight-forward and there's none of that pretense and fake-ness that you might get with other women.
But especially growing up with two brothers and now living in a house FULL of boys, I know how extremely crucial it is for the feminine side of me to be nurtured by the company of other women. After too long of going without a heart-to-heart with a girlfriend I literally feel like I've overdosed on testosterone and I really, really, need some girly time to stay sane. I need to know I'm not going crazy because I feel emotions, to know that I'm not mad or weird because I think a certain way, to be in the company of a group of people who understand period cramps, insecurity about your looks, how demeaning and insulting it is when sexist remarks are made in front of you or worse about you, and who react to things the way I do.
3. "Don't allow yourself to be defined by any title." This is a biggie I really, really struggle with. I'm so used to playing certain roles: "oldest child", "the responsible one", "the good student", and so on, that when I begin to feel any of these roles are being threatened, or that people don't perceive me as living up to them, my ENTIRE identity is brought into question.
Not only that, but I sometimes use my roles to excuse my behavior. "I'm the oldest child, the guinea pig, so I'm meant to be rebellious." And one that strikes very close to my heart lately: "I'm Asian and a foreign student, not like people here will understand me anyway, and not like they are interested in the fact that I have had a completely different upbringing from them, so why bother trying to relate to people here?" But fitting yourself into labels is so unhealthy, because it limits you completely.
So there you go... hope you've been challenged by these lessons and if you have, do drop a note to share your thoughts! :) Much, more love to all my sistahhs out there! Stay amazing and beautiful.
At a recent Sisterhood gathering at Starbucks along Linthorpe Road, she shared with a bunch of girls and women some of the things she learned along the journey of her life, all of which really, really challenged me and so I thought I'd post some of them up to share with all you girls out there too. :)
1. "You have to start somewhere." Even the biggest dreams and loftiest accomplishments all started from somewhere. Or, in the words of Lao-Tzu, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I'm a deeply self-reflective person and I always tend to look back on life and think about how far I've come. Every time I do that, I think about how I never imagined I'd be where I am today, with the background I've come from. But it all started somewhere - with a dream to be more than I could ever imagine being.
2. "Connection is everything." Guys, even though they might not share personal things or talk about their feelings much with each other, tend to have each other's backs as 'bros'. There is an unspoken 'bro code' which dictates that you watch out for your brothers as they watch out for you. Women are notorious for having no such code of behavior, with back-stabbing, bitchiness, gossiping, and jealousy being the status quo when it comes to groups of women. I bet I'm not the only girl who finds it hard to open up to and trust other girls, and I've had more than one girlfriend remark that guys are easier to talk to because they're straight-forward and there's none of that pretense and fake-ness that you might get with other women.
But especially growing up with two brothers and now living in a house FULL of boys, I know how extremely crucial it is for the feminine side of me to be nurtured by the company of other women. After too long of going without a heart-to-heart with a girlfriend I literally feel like I've overdosed on testosterone and I really, really, need some girly time to stay sane. I need to know I'm not going crazy because I feel emotions, to know that I'm not mad or weird because I think a certain way, to be in the company of a group of people who understand period cramps, insecurity about your looks, how demeaning and insulting it is when sexist remarks are made in front of you or worse about you, and who react to things the way I do.
3. "Don't allow yourself to be defined by any title." This is a biggie I really, really struggle with. I'm so used to playing certain roles: "oldest child", "the responsible one", "the good student", and so on, that when I begin to feel any of these roles are being threatened, or that people don't perceive me as living up to them, my ENTIRE identity is brought into question.
Not only that, but I sometimes use my roles to excuse my behavior. "I'm the oldest child, the guinea pig, so I'm meant to be rebellious." And one that strikes very close to my heart lately: "I'm Asian and a foreign student, not like people here will understand me anyway, and not like they are interested in the fact that I have had a completely different upbringing from them, so why bother trying to relate to people here?" But fitting yourself into labels is so unhealthy, because it limits you completely.
So there you go... hope you've been challenged by these lessons and if you have, do drop a note to share your thoughts! :) Much, more love to all my sistahhs out there! Stay amazing and beautiful.
"Guys, even though they might not share personal things or talk about their feelings much with each other, tend to have each other's backs as 'bros'. There is an unspoken 'bro code' which dictates that you watch out for your brothers as they watch out for you."
ReplyDeleteWell said. :) Not that I am try to be a chauvinist, but from my experience during the college years, apartments shared by all girls will end up quarreling over petty issues. For apartment that are all boys, they generally don't give a shit if it is stinky or messy. Maybe that's the boys nature.
HAHAHAHA. Oh dear, you're going to have to really watch my next video about living with boys. When it comes to cleanliness, they can be quite.... ahem... interesting to watch. But yeah... stayed tuned! :)
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