If this is what it means to be a 'real girl', I don't want to be one

"This is for the girls who have the tendency to stay up all night listening to music that reminds them of their current situation. Who hide their fears, hurt, pain and tears under their smiles and laughs all on a daily basis. The girls who wear their hearts on their sleeve. The girls who pray things will workout just once and they’ll be satisfied. The girls who scream and cry into their pillows because the rest of the world fails to listen. The girls who have it hard but don’t let anyone know that. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who have so many secrets but will never tell a soul. The girls who have regrets and mistakes as a daily moral. The girls who don’t always win, who may never win. The girls who stay up all night thinking about that one boy wondering if he’ll ever notice her. The girls who don’t get what they get and don’t throw a fit. The girls who take life as it comes, hoping it’ll get easier somewhere down the road. The girls who love with all their hearts but always get broken. This is for the real girls. This is for you, girl." -shared on Tumblr

Really? That's all it takes to be a 'real girl'?

When I read the above on Tumblr, everything inside me screamed 'No!' I refuse to accept that. I refuse to believe that doing all that makes me a real girl.

No offense meant to the person who wrote it or the people who shared it - I appreciate the sentiment, and I understand that reading that may be empowering for some girls.

But not this girl. To me, that's stifling.

Hiding my fears and pain under smiles and laughs makes me a real girl? I'd take heartbreaking honesty and finding the courage to open up to someone any day.

Staying up all night listening to emo music is being a real girl? Maybe for awhile, yes, that helps to heal. But after awhile, if I'm not careful, I'll cross that line into wallowing in self-pity and holding on to the past.

And praying things will work out just once and I'll be satisfied? No! I'll never be satisfied, not by a boy, not by my achievements, not by having all the things I want. Because the only thing I will settle for is the yearning to experience and chase down everything life has to offer, and the knowledge that life is a never-ending journey, and change and adventure is part of it.

Regrets and mistakes won't be my daily morals: instead, they'll be forgiveness, second chances, and hope.

I may not win... at first, but I'm a girl who will try again and again until I get something I want. I might not get all of it, but at least something is better than accepting that I may never win and not even trying, and getting nothing.

I may have secrets not everyone can handle but I choose to trust at least one or two close friends with everything in my heart, because even though that's scary, what's more scary is being so jaded I can never be able to trust anyone.

I may take life as it comes, but I sure as heck don't wish it'd get easier down the road. Because I've learnt that easy doesn't always equal happy. Just ask anyone who seems to 'have it all'.

And I've gotten my heart broken but I've learned that you can love with all your heart, and you can even wear it on your sleeve, but at the end of the day, it's still yours.

You don't have to give your heart away. You don't have to let someone walk all over it. And you certainly don't have to entrust it to people whom you already know will handle it carelessly. But sometimes the problem is us, isn't it, because we're not more careful with our hearts. At the end of the day, how much love you can receive or give depends on how much you love yourself.

So this is for a different kind of real girl. Girls that won't just settle for the first good thing that comes their way, because they don't want just 'good', they want amazing. Girls that hold not only the people they love but themselves to a higher standard, to being better tomorrow than they are today. Girls that are not afraid of change, of picking themselves up again, or even of fighting for what's important to them. Girls that are not afraid to cry but won't wait for someone else to wipe away their tears before they do. Girls who don't accept the status quo, who don't accept what people tell them they are. Girls who don't wait for a guy to come along and make everything okay but seize each and every day and make something beautiful out of it.

This is for the girls who are feminine, courageous, passionate, and dangerous. This is for the girls who write their own endings, who find their own happiness, who own their hearts, their choices, and their future. This is for you.