The movie of my life

“two years ago, i was afraid of wanting anything. i figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure. but now i find i can’t stop wanting. i want to fly somewhere on first class. i want to travel to europe on a business trip. i want to get invited to the white house. i want to learn about the world. i want to surprise myself. i want to be important. i want to be the best person i can be. i want to define myself, instead of having others define me. i want to win, and have people happy for me. i want to lose and get over it. i want to not be afraid of the unknown. i want to grow up to be generous and big-hearted, the way that people have been with me. i want an interesting and surprising life. it’s not that i think that i’m going to get all these things. i just want the possibility of getting them. college represents possibility. the possibility that things are going to change. i can’t wait.” - friday night lights

Sometimes I think my life is sadder than the saddest movie I can think of (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) but I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's in the world.

Because if it feels like a movie at the sad parts, then at the high points it feels a million times more amazing than when the soundtrack soars into a crescendo in a movie at the happy parts.

I honestly find my life more interesting (in both bad and good ways) than any movie than I've ever watched. And how many people can say that?



"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way" -Natasha Bedingfield