Soul Sunday: If you could freeze a moment...

 Some rights reserved by Neal.

(It's been a crazy week that's gone by! Then again, that's just the way I like it. Unless it's doing nothing with good friends. :) I was supposed to post this yesterday but life got in the way, so here it is today. I'm keeping the title for this series in my attempt to be a more organized blogger - even though, I know, it's not Sunday anymore.)

They say it’s moments in your life that shape you. I was thinking the other day about a question I discussed with some other friends. 

"If you could freeze a moment from your life, what would it be?"

Wow. What a question. I hardly knew where to start, but once I started thinking about it, it was hard to stop.

• Childhood games (eg. catching, hide and seek in the dark)
• Going to a furniture warehouse and marveling at how vast the halls filled with brand-new furniture were
• Mom’s homemade shortcrust pastry chicken pie at Christmas
• Playing 'Toy Story' with my brothers and dad (ie. One of us acts as ‘Andy’, and goes out of the room, while the rest of us go bananas in the room and has to freeze the moment ‘Andy’ walks back in)
• Watching Christmas cartoons in PJs on Christmas morning
• Power failures, which meant sleeping on the tile floor (because it was cooler) in the living room and playing with torchlights and candles
• Sleepovers that involved baking and nail polish and exercising in the middle of the night and handmade crafts
• Daytona racing 
• Kaya toast after school and debates about God and life in a mamak along Old Klang Road
• Staying up all night on New Year’s eve to go to church in a stadium and eat KFC
• My tall, lanky youngest brother being a small, round, chubby baby I could carry around again
• Croissants, pain au chocolat, and café noir with Mabel on an early Saturday morning in Paris
• Tiger crawling on top of me to snuggle his furry head into my neck
• Baking comfort food late into the night in a spacious, quiet kitchen on cold, wintery nights
• Opening the Starbucks store I worked at in the morning; grinding the first batch of espresso beans for the day, and flipping on the music player to pipe jazz through the store as the scent of coffee wafts through the air
• Watching the sea in Kota Kinabalu at night on an assignment to write a travel piece for a magazine I was working at
• Phở, Pharmacie, and sharing meals and comfortable conversation with someone who enjoys taking it as slowly as I do
• Falling asleep in a hammock to the sound of waves on hot and lazy afternoon in Redang
• Sitting in a cold train station in Edinburgh as staff from a café closed shop and handed out unsold sandwiches to weary travellers on a late, cold, New Year’s eve 
• Train stations and airports; people coming and going 

And as I mentally list these moments a pattern begins to emerge. I begin to realize what really matters to me. 

It’s not the achievements or the big things I wish I could relive. 

Not graduating, not overcoming certain phobias, not awesome camps or concerts or events I got to attend, not performing in front of people, not achieving certain grades. It’s the little things that mean the most.

The privilege of time, to do the things you really love. The people you really care about. Silence, solitude, and being at peace with yourself. The gift of rest. The experience of sensory pleasure. The ability to experience and observe new, unfamiliar things. 

This is what matters. This is what we can experience on a daily basis. Even with the most seemingly mundane routines it’s possible to carve out space for these things. 

I’m a big minimalist and purist, and I believe in quality, not quantity. I believe seeking more entertainment or distractions won’t give us the meaning we crave or make boredom or discomfort pass away quicker. 

But I do believe things like a walk, a good cup of coffee, a smile, a hug, listening to a bird chirp, a sunset, and, especially in a city like KL, a good ten minutes of silence – as miniscule as they may seem in our over-cluttered days, they keep us centered on what’s truly important – the kind of moments we’ll look back and want to relive. 

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, ... grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. -Henry Van Dyke 

Vegetarian Wednesdays: Comfort Pumpkin Carrot Soup

Awhile back, I wrote about how I need to be more thoughtful about what I eat. That means not just eating healthier for me, but for the earth we live on - and for all sentient beings involved in the food production process (human or animal).

I still don't have the answers, but I know cutting back on meat and eating more veggies and more home-cooked food is good for my body, good for my wallet, and helps sustain local farmers (did you know we import about 155,000 tonnes of beef into Malaysia a year? And that figure is only for beef!).

I am also trying to be more structured in my blogging and so I am limiting what I blog about to certain themes for certain days of the week. I started with Cat Diaries on Mondays, and from now on, every Wednesday I will post a vegetarian recipe that I've tried. This is my attempt to not just talk about exploring ways to eat better, but to put it into practice as well.

So here you go, today's Vegetarian Wednesday recipe:

Comfort Pumpkin Carrot Soup

This is the kind of soup you want to drink on a rainy day, whether it's raining outside or raining in your soul. Maybe it's the nourishing, wholesome taste. Maybe it's the bright splash of sunny colour that audaciously screams "I dare you to stay miserable looking at me!" Who knows? All I know is this soup is comforting and delicious, and will probably make you go back for seconds.

Ingredients:

• Half a medium-sized pumpkin (When it comes to home-cooking, I love my estimates, so don't expect to find any specifics here!)
• 4-5 large carrots
• 3-4 shallots
• 5 pips of garlic
• 2 cubes of chicken stock dissolved in 1 cup of hot water OR
• 1 cup of chicken stock OR
• to be properly vegetarian, either of the above replaced with vegetable stock
• Additional water (to adjust to desired consistency)
• Splash of olive oil
• Optional: Sprinkle of pepper, allspice, paprika, curry powder, and / or several bay leaves to taste

Instructions:

1. Cut pumpkin into cubes and boil OR roast (You can roast the pumpkin for a fuller, smoky flavour before peeling the skin off) until soft and tender.
2. Boil carrots until soft.
3. While carrots and pumpkin cook, chop shallots and garlic finely. 
4. Place cooked carrots and pumpkin (with skin removed) into a blender or food processor (this will probably take several rounds) and blend until fine. Add a little water while blending to make the purée smoother if needed. 
5. Splash some olive oil into a huge pot, and lightly fry the minced shallots and garlic quickly. 
6. Place puréed pumpkin and carrot into pot, add stock, and add more water if needed. 
7. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly so that the bottom does not burn. When the soup starts to bubble and thicken, add more water to achieve your desired consistency.
8. Continue stirring for 10 minutes as the soup bubbles. 
9. Blend the soup one final time after cooking for a smoother, creamier texture.
10. Serve with toast bread and a dollop of coconut milk, if desired. 

Serves: 6-8 hungry people

For anyone who's never felt enough

All the hours in a day are not enough to do all the things I want to do, and

all the kindness I can muster up is not enough to forgive those I'd rather fight, and

all my efforts are not enough to change all the things that could use it, and

all I own is not enough to make me happy, and

all I give away is not enough to feed all the starving children in the world, and

all that I learn is not enough to teach me how to make the hard decisions in life, and

all the company I could ask for is not enough to keep me from ever feeling alone, and

all the miles I run are not enough to know which way to run, and

all the sleep I can get is not enough to give me rest, and

nothing is ever enough,

I say.

But you say

my
grace
is
enough.

Enough. 

And the only race you are called to run
is
yours.

What you have today is enough.

What you are doing today is enough.

Who you are today
is
enough.

Image by laurennicolelove

Cat Diaries #1: Disco cat and how silly mistakes hurt people

Want to become a better person?
A more assertive, self-confident, disciplined, pro-active person?
A kinder, gentler, more compassionate person?
Want to be more understanding of those around you, and how to nurture the relationships in your life better?

Get a pet.

I strongly believe that learning to care for an animal is one of the best ways to do all the above.

I have been in about a month-long relationship now with Tiger, a stray kitten I found at the Hang Tuah LRT station, who rode back home with me on a 20-minute ride in a crowded train at peak hours without a complaint. Every day he teaches me new things.

I know having a cat is a far cry from having a child, but the principle of caring for a living, breathing thing (with a mind of its own!) helps shed a lot of light on why my parents do / say what they do, and the reasons behind them.

Such as how much it really does hurt when you unintentionally cause harm. Read on for the first instalment of a series of posts I'm naming "Cat Diaries", that I will be writing weekly.

Disco cat
How silly mistakes hurt people

(Warning: Reading the following story is going to make me sound like a terrible cat owner - but before you point a finger at me, let's be honest, we often make silly mistakes and hurt the people in our lives, don't we?)

I was playing with Tiger, who, in his playful moods, finds everything and anything amusing, even pens and paper clips. I was teasing him with a glo-stick and decided to fix it around his neck. He looked adorable with the bright yellow stick contrasting against his dark fur.

My brother even called him "Disco Cat", which we both found highly amusing. He was totally unfazed at being decorated this way, and calmly strolled out of my room, seeking more interesting diversions.

Awhile later, all of a sudden, the most primal, horrific meows erupted from the living room. I ran out to find Tiger thrashing about on the floor, trying desperately to wriggle free from his 'collar', which had gotten stuck tightly in between his jaws. In his attempts to rid himself of the glo-stick, he had punctured it, and the nasty taste must have caused him to go wild.

It took some time to calm him down so we could remove the stick, but by the time that ordeal was over we were left with bruised corners of the mouth, oily yellow fluid smeared everywhere, and one very subdued kitten.

I felt like the most horrible person in the world.

To think I had unwittingly found amusing something that would cause so much trauma! How much different did that make me from someone who could find torture amusing?!?

And to think of the warning signs I should have taken into consideration - we had previously tried to get Tiger to wear a collar, which he resisted immensely and even when it was on, he acted so miserable and aggressive that it would have been cruel to keep it on. Also, my mom, upon noticing "Disco cat" strolling through the living room, had warned me to take it off or he might choke. At the time, he had seemed so calm and looked so adorable that all these things didn't cross my mind.

What a thoughtless person I was!

What followed was excessive pampering and profuse apologies to a very miffed kitten who just ignored me, walked away, and jumped up beside my brother. They say a cat has a very good memory, and if my own memories of all the times I felt unfairly treated by my parents were anything to go by, I was afraid this would be the beginnings of a very deep resentment my cat might harbour towards me.

Thankfully, by night, he was snuggled up back in his favourite spot - my bed, of course, and the next morning, I was woken by the same low purring demanding to be 'manja-ed' before getting ready for work. (If only humans were as forgiving.)

I learnt an important lesson from that experience. How a thoughtless action that may seem amusing at first can easily turn into something very hurtful. It could be a small gesture or remark that may not seem like a big deal, and maybe even funny - but we could unintentionally be causing a lot of harm by it.

So let's be more thoughtful about our actions, words - and what we let ourselves be amused by.

P/S - I Googled "pets swallowing glo-stick liquid" and found that many pets and even children have accidentally ingested the liquid and that the quantities present in one glo-stick is not toxic enough to do significant harm. (Phew - I'm not THAT terrible a person after all. But still! Don't give glo-sticks to babies or animals!)

Liked today's story? Subscribe to Be The Change for more catty stories served up every Monday!

Ambling slowly in a world that frantically runs: My year-long flirtation with sourdough

"Sourdough bread, made properly, ambles slowly in a world that frantically runs. It might even ask for a tall glass of sweet tea and a rocking chair on the porch." 

With a description like this, how could I resist trying my hand at this ancient art? And so I did.

A year ago, I tried multiple times to get a starter going from scratch, with each attempt turning out to be the equivalent of a science experiment gone really bad.

All of the information I could find on making starters were catered to those in temperate climates, with the recommended temperature for cultivating the finicky mixture of natural yeasts and lacto-bacteria being around 23°C - a temperature only possible in Malaysia with air-conditioning. Which I don't have.

Which ended up with hyperactive mixtures of fermenting goo that bubbled up too quickly and turned rancid even quicker.

This week, I was suddenly struck with the mad fancy to try again what I had failed miserably in. I stumbled across a forum post by a sourdough baker who said that in the heat of summer, he keeps his starter cool by placing the jar in a bowl of water. Of course I had to try that!

Fast forward a few days, and I now have a very happy, healthy, bubbly, and non-puke-smelling starter. I almost feel like a proud mommy.

But of course, the real test of a good starter - Will it rise bread without the use of commercial yeast? I put my starter to the test.

And, as you might have guessed from the picture above, I succeeded! While it didn't rise as much as I had hoped it would, it definitely rose and had the most marvelous, complex, rich taste.

Look at the delightfully irregular air bubbles created by the sourdough starter! You'll never find this kind of rustic authenticity with commercial yeast.

I can just imagine how perfect it'll taste with some homemade pumpkin soup - love! 

It's ridiculously easy to make me happy. Give me simple domestic pleasures - food, pets, company... coupled with a touch of nature - a purple sunset, a walk in the park, a light breeze - and I'm in my idea of heaven. 

15 favourite quotes from Pride and Prejudice

I have recently overcome my prejudice against classical literature, finished reading Pride and Prejudice - and actually enjoyed it. While I am aware it has often been called a timeless classic, I didn't expect to find myself identifying so closely with the protagonist of the story and easily drawing many comparisons between the book's characters and people in my life.

Like every good story, Pride and Prejudice drew me into its world. I laughed, got upset, nodded along at every quick-witted verbal jab, rolled my eyes at every silly remark or snooty reply, and felt the wounded pride, incredulous surprise, curious impatience and joyful bliss of the characters as I read through the book.

By the time I finished the book, it actually felt like I had lost a friend - something I have only ever felt with a select number of books in my life.

So, as a toast to newly-acquired fellow Janites everywhere, and to give a glimpse of the author's verbal dexterity and sharp analysis of social mores (which are still as relevant to society today as ever) to the uninitiated, here are fifteen of my favourite quotes from Jane Austen. Pour yourself a cup of tea, and savour!

#1
"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves."

"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least." (Exchange between Mr. and Mrs. Bennett)

***

#2
He was directly invited to join their party, but he declined it, observing that he could imagine but two motives for their choosing to walk up and down the room together, with either of which motives his joining them would interfere. "What could he mean? She was dying to know what could be his meaning?"—and asked Elizabeth whether she could at all understand him?

"Not at all," was her answer; "but depend upon it, he means to be severe on us, and our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask nothing about it."

 Miss Bingley, however, was incapable of disappointing Mr. Darcy in anything, and persevered therefore in requiring an explanation of his two motives.

"I have not the smallest objection to explaining them," said he, as soon as she allowed him to speak. "You either choose this method of passing the evening because you are in each other's confidence, and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking; if the first, I would be completely in your way, and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire."

***

#3
They are young in the ways of the world, and not yet open to the mortifying conviction that handsome young men must have something to live on as well as the plain.

***

#4
"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess," said Darcy, "of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done."

"My fingers," said Elizabeth, "do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women's do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman's of superior execution."

***

#5
"...he wants nothing but a little more liveliness, and that, if he marry prudently, his wife may teach him. I thought him very sly;—he hardly ever mentioned your name. But slyness seems the fashion." (Mrs. Gardiner to her niece, Elizabeth)

Ready... again

When it comes to what I consider the most significant, important, or precious moments in life, I'm a terribly private person.

I always hesitate to share these moments out of my warped thinking and fear that if other people know about it, it will somehow dilute or jinx my happiness. Also, I'm a terribly shy person when it comes to telling people about important events in life - I almost feel as if I don't deserve the attention.

But sometimes things are so good you can't help but spill the juice, right? To keep it to yourself would be impossible. I'm still finding the words to tell the stories of the past few months - but some people have beat me to it and summed up what I've been going through in beautiful lyrics and music.

I've been looping these two songs over and over again, because in this season in life, they mean so much to me.

I'm ready to feel now

No longer am I afraid of the fall down

It must be time to move on now

Without the fear of how it might end

I guess I'm ready to love again

Eat your heart out: My journey towards more thoughtful eating

About two years ago, while interning at local lifestyle magazine I.M., I was asked to write an article for an environmental column on a topic of my choice. I did some research and discovered, with quite a bit of surprise, that the biggest industry contributing to carbon emissions (the standard for measuring environmental impact) is not industrial manufacturing, power generation, air travel, or any of those that might commonly come to mind. It is actually meat production.

That discovery sparked a journey which, two years on, has completely changed my mindset and attitudes towards the food we eat. Not just in terms of meat and dairy, but in terms of the industrialized, commercial, and often deceptive nature of the production of most of the food we consume today.

With the light that has been shed on (the often disturbing truths about) where my food comes from, I’ve since struggled with how to eat more mindfully and ethically.

I have been considering for some time and experimenting with eating less meat – but living in a society that loves its food, and especially meat – and being an ardent foodie surrounded by more ardent foodies, this attempt has flopped many times.

Then, three weeks ago, I adopted a stray kitten and it challenged me with many things, including not just my patience but also my motives and choices.

This has made me look again at adopting a more thoughtful diet. I don’t expect to make big changes or have answers overnight, but I do know that with the knowledge I have, my conscience will not let me rest unless I start making some changes and searching for some answers.

I will be documenting my journey towards eating more carefully – not just for the protection of the environment and its resources (animal and otherwise) that we waste and abuse, but also for the protection of my own health, well-being, and conscience. I hope you’ll join me in this journey and chip in your own thoughts as well on any of the issues it raises!

Lessons from a street cat: What my kitten taught me about life in three weeks

Three weeks ago, I adopted a stray kitten – much to my family’s initial chagrin (with the exception of my youngest brother).

I was told we don’t have the capacity to house a kitten in our apartment. I was questioned if I really thought it was possible to turn a dirty, wild, unpredictable street cat into a tame house cat.

I was asked what’s the point, since there are so many other stray animals everywhere.

In the last week, media uproar about a major animal cruelty case in Malaysia raised much dialogue about the same questions. What is the point?

I have thought long and hard, and every time my kitten bugs a family member or knocks down another item from my shelf in his attempts to leave no surface in the house uncharted or I clean up his poop or fork out money for his food, I ask myself what’s the point.

Every single time, I come back to this answer: What's not the point?

I know for a fact that it’s a tough life for a street cat. I know most kittens who aren’t tough enough end up run over by cars or are killed by diseases or get poked to death with umbrellas by mentally-unstable people. Can I just blindly ignore those facts when it is in my power to make a difference?

Not only can I change the life of this street cat, but also, I want to. Not just out of the fact that I've loved animals ever since I was a kid, but also out of a simple desire to show compassion and place value on another living being that might not receive it otherwise. The latter is the same reason I have long been compelled to support the efforts of World Vision by sponsoring a little boy from Thailand.

But there are so many other stray cats and starving children out there, the skeptics point out (as if it isn’t obvious enough already).

What’s the point? What difference can one person like me make?

My response, to quote a line from the famous story by the authors of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series? “Made a difference to that one!”

We can’t do everything, but we can do something. And doing something doesn’t just change life for those we help. It changes life for us.

It gives us perspective – It helps us see that we’re not the center of the universe, we don’t need more stuff or more money to be happy, and in fact, it can actually feel quite good giving some of our stuff and money away.

It gives us connection – I find that the more passionate I get about the causes I support, the more I understand and feel connected to other causes, and, at large, the world around me. Suddenly people surviving an earthquake or a flood on the other side of the world don’t seem so far away, and the little change I can spare doesn’t seem so small, realizing that it could buy a meal. That one meal can be enough to nourish a body for another day, and that one act of kindness enough to nourish a soul for a lifetime.

It helps us grow – It places us right in the middle of a process of growth and development and allows us to participate in change for the better. It keeps us out of being stuck in a rut but rather living in an awareness that things are not permanent and we can do small things that add up to big change. We may only be able to do a small thing, but when we do, we discover that no acts of kindness and mercy are ever small.

So in giving of ourselves we are essentially giving to ourselves, because in the end we get back so much more than we give.

I have witnessed the truth of this in just a few weeks. Three weeks in which Tiger has gone from getting up to mischief trying to explore every nook and cranny of the hour in the middle of the night, to nestling quietly in between the crook of my knees as I sleep with my legs curled up or nuzzling into my neck through most of the night. From waking the whole house with loud, demanding meows for food early in the morning to pouncing on me in bed for an early morning cuddle and then only asking for breakfast.

Read second-hand, those moments probably mean little, but when you're experiencing them for yourself, they become more priceless than all of your time, effort and money invested.

Maybe you're not an animal lover like me. But countless people who have gone on mission trips or taken part in community volunteer efforts for the first time have experienced the same thing - getting so much out of giving just a little. Seeing with your own eyes and feeling with your own hands that change is possible and that you can be a part of it. Watching people (and sometimes, animals) smile, cry, laugh - and smiling, laughing, and crying with them.

This post is not about being an animal lover.

It's about being a human with the capacity to respect, nurture, and celebrate life -

to sense intuitively that something is wrong when life is not being respected, nurtured and celebrated -

and to have the compassion and enthusiasm to do something, no matter how small a thing, to remedy such situations.

You don't have to adopt a cat. But give of yourself in whatever way you can - and I promise, I promise... you will be so much richer for it.

Good people

A loving person lives in a loving world.  A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror.  -Ken Keyes, Jr.

Time flies!

In July, it felt like I would never get used to this new phase of life. I struggled not only with fitting back into Malaysian culture but also with fitting into the working world. Change never comes easy, does it?

In July, I was also searching. For good people. I wrote: "I need to be reminded that good women and men exist. Good people. Alive people. Passionate people. Kind people. Real people."

Because life has a way of doing that thing to you. That thing where you feel you're alone, no one understands, and that you can't tell your struggles to anyone.

I still can't get over the fact that August rushed by like that. (But if I don't get around to my point now, September will have gone past too.)

Long story short, these past couple weeks have seen not a few, but many good people coming into my life.

It's been amazingly refreshing and motivating to be surrounded by real, imperfect, and yet so passionate, hopeful, and kind people.

But I have also been reminded that for these people to come into my life, I had to start opening up as well, and letting people in again.

In July I wondered to myself and several people: "Where are all the good people?"

Where are people who make your day better instead of worse, who give you a boost rather than bring your mood down, who change things rather than complain, who love thoughtful conversations rather than mindless gossip?

Today, I can say... they're everywhere. It just depends where you're looking.

A friend said, "I'm tired of looking for the right people."

But maybe it's not about looking elsewhere ie. hunting down 'perfect' friends, but rather, looking differently - ie. changing your perspective.

Over the past few weeks I've had the privilege of spending time with a group of people I initially was hesitant about - people I thought I would have very little in common with - just talking about life and faith and the meaning of it all.*

I was humbled, because I was reminded that no matter who we are or where we come from, we're all very much the same deep down. Despite how different we might seem on the outside, we share, in the words of Obama, "common hopes, common dreams, a bond that will not break."

*P/S - I think the best marketing / testimonial of any kind is when a sceptic becomes a believer. When the change or improvement becomes, tangible, real, personal.

Since I'd heard about it I've always been quite sceptical of the Alpha course, even after going on it once. But I'm glad I gave it another try, because not just have I realised how dynamic and uplifting it can be, but I also had the privilege to meet and talk to other huge sceptics and witness what a major shift of perspective can take place in just five weeks.

It's amazing what being surrounded by so much positivity and acceptance does - so if you ever get the chance to go on the course, don't miss it. Of course if you want me to help you find a course convenient for you (Alpha takes place in schools and workplaces worldwide), I'd be more than happy to.

Song of the month: Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum

This has to be one of the rawest, most honest love songs I've ever heard - and its music video, breathtaking. (Okay I admit my opinions are largely due to the fact that it's set in Paris and features two backpacking travelers who have a chance encounter with each other.)

But the lyrics are the life of this song and capture perfectly the uncertainty and hesitancy in the early stages of falling for someone.

lyin’ here with you so close to me

it’s hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe

caught up in this moment

caught up in your smile

i’ve never opened up to anyone

so hard to hold back when i’m holding you in my arms

we don’t need to rush this

let’s just take this slow

I don't know about you, but my natural instinct is to rush into what I see as good things. "As soon as possible" is usually the best answer to the question of "When?", when it comes to what I want. After all, if it's a good thing, why wait, right? 

Or so I'd always thought. But I think for most, there will come a time when something comes your way and suddenly you realize this isn't something you want to hurry or rush into - but to take as slowly and handle with as much care as possible, because you're so afraid that one wrong move could mess it up. 

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch in the fire burning so bright

and i don’t want to mess this thing up

i don’t want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i’ve been waiting for my whole life

so baby i’m alright, with just a kiss goodnight

Instead of asking how much you can get out of this - you find yourself asking, how little can I get by on, if just to make this thing last longer?

i know that if we give this a little time

it will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find

it’s never felt so real, no it’s never felt so right

You find yourself willing to wait if the circumstances demand it, willing to spend a lot of time apart from what you really want - believing that when you get it, it will be everything you hoped it would be. 

no i don’t want to say goodnight

i know it’s time to leave, but you’ll be in my dreams tonight

so baby i’m alright, oh, let’s do this right, with just a kiss goodnight

And maybe, maybe you realize that falling for someone (these days, I'm so hesitant to even use the word 'love' flippantly) is not about how far you can go or how much you can get from the other person, but it's about something to hope for, something to hold on to, something to cherish and nurture and protect - for the long haul. Even if it means holding back your instincts and what you want, for now. 

It's about finding something that makes it not easy, but okay, to be patient for. Because it's that worth it.