I've decided to take some time at the start of every week for the rest of the year to reflect on some of the most important things I've learnt in the past year. I think it's so important to take the time to slow down and process the experiences we've been through, to learn from them, to ask ourselves how those lessons can help us move forward better, and just to celebrate them and share them with others who have gone through or are going through similar things.
The more you give, the more you receive. Sharing of yourself - of your time, your energy, your idea, your resources - always leaves you with more than you started out with.
I used to see life as a competition - but I now realise that every time we help someone else get ahead, every time we help someone else move on, every time we help someone else succeed - their achievements and successes never undermine or subtract from our own - but in fact add to it and multiply it. I used to pride myself on being self-sufficient. “I’m the type that works better alone,” I always told myself. But the past year taught me how precious community and teamwork is.
I remember coming back from the UK last year, and feeling absolutely disconnected from everyone and everything. And I remember praying, quite half-heartedly, because I didn’t quite believe my prayers would be answered: “God, surround me with community that will inspire me and give me good mentors, especially female ones, who will help me to grow.”
I was just sharing how I’d prayed this with an old friend, Sarah, and she exclaimed, “But you have so many good mentors!” And the truth is, a year later, I realise how even in my doubt, God has been so good to bless me with mentors in every area of my life. Not many people have bosses who take the time to invest in them and help them to grow in their job skills, but who also actually care about what’s going on in their life. Not many people have bosses and colleagues you can not only share your work struggles with, but also your personal struggles with, that you can be totally honest with, pray with... and even shed tears in front of. In fact, not many people even have friends and family they can do that with.
A year ago, if you told me I’d be praying about things that matter - about careers, about relationships, about our walks with God - with close friends, in random cafes, if you told me I’d be running in different states in Malaysia and meeting new people from different churches and praying with them, if you told me I’d be sharing my most difficult struggles openly with my parents and having them be so understanding and supportive of me - I wouldn’t have believed it. Yet all of that is true today.
I’m so thankful, because God has been so faithful in slowly bringing, one by one, into my life, people who were kind and patient enough with me to help me slowly tear down the walls I’d built around myself. And I discovered that in letting people in, in being vulnerable, I actually found strength.
Suzen, a dear friend and CultureRun Co-Founder, whose journey this year has been such an inspiration to me, said in her TEDxYouth@KL talk: “I used to see needing other people as a weakness. As Asians, we are so obsessed with being in control. We place value on people who seem self-reliant.” She then talked about how at a difficult point in her life, when her house burned down, she realised that the idea of ‘being in control’ gives us a false sense of freedom.
She went on to say that the experience taught her how much she needed other people, and how important it was to be vulnerable and open with others. This eventually led her on a journey that would see her starting a business that would bring the community together to learn from each other and share their skills and knowledge.
As she put it: “Vulnerability is not about being weak. It’s not about giving a blow-by-blow account of your daily life on Facebook. Vulnerability... is having the courage to say ‘I’m sorry’ first. It’s about taking the risk to invest in someone else without a guarantee. It’s the ability to love without fear.”
“Community gives you strength to do what you can’t do alone.”
"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back." // Luke 6:38
The more you give, the more you receive. Sharing of yourself - of your time, your energy, your idea, your resources - always leaves you with more than you started out with.
I used to see life as a competition - but I now realise that every time we help someone else get ahead, every time we help someone else move on, every time we help someone else succeed - their achievements and successes never undermine or subtract from our own - but in fact add to it and multiply it. I used to pride myself on being self-sufficient. “I’m the type that works better alone,” I always told myself. But the past year taught me how precious community and teamwork is.
I remember coming back from the UK last year, and feeling absolutely disconnected from everyone and everything. And I remember praying, quite half-heartedly, because I didn’t quite believe my prayers would be answered: “God, surround me with community that will inspire me and give me good mentors, especially female ones, who will help me to grow.”
I was just sharing how I’d prayed this with an old friend, Sarah, and she exclaimed, “But you have so many good mentors!” And the truth is, a year later, I realise how even in my doubt, God has been so good to bless me with mentors in every area of my life. Not many people have bosses who take the time to invest in them and help them to grow in their job skills, but who also actually care about what’s going on in their life. Not many people have bosses and colleagues you can not only share your work struggles with, but also your personal struggles with, that you can be totally honest with, pray with... and even shed tears in front of. In fact, not many people even have friends and family they can do that with.
A year ago, if you told me I’d be praying about things that matter - about careers, about relationships, about our walks with God - with close friends, in random cafes, if you told me I’d be running in different states in Malaysia and meeting new people from different churches and praying with them, if you told me I’d be sharing my most difficult struggles openly with my parents and having them be so understanding and supportive of me - I wouldn’t have believed it. Yet all of that is true today.
I’m so thankful, because God has been so faithful in slowly bringing, one by one, into my life, people who were kind and patient enough with me to help me slowly tear down the walls I’d built around myself. And I discovered that in letting people in, in being vulnerable, I actually found strength.
Suzen, a dear friend and CultureRun Co-Founder, whose journey this year has been such an inspiration to me, said in her TEDxYouth@KL talk: “I used to see needing other people as a weakness. As Asians, we are so obsessed with being in control. We place value on people who seem self-reliant.” She then talked about how at a difficult point in her life, when her house burned down, she realised that the idea of ‘being in control’ gives us a false sense of freedom.
She went on to say that the experience taught her how much she needed other people, and how important it was to be vulnerable and open with others. This eventually led her on a journey that would see her starting a business that would bring the community together to learn from each other and share their skills and knowledge.
As she put it: “Vulnerability is not about being weak. It’s not about giving a blow-by-blow account of your daily life on Facebook. Vulnerability... is having the courage to say ‘I’m sorry’ first. It’s about taking the risk to invest in someone else without a guarantee. It’s the ability to love without fear.”
“Community gives you strength to do what you can’t do alone.”
"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back." // Luke 6:38
You're right. No man is an island.
ReplyDeleteYet our school system adopts the American-ish competition is king style. Those on top get all the rewards while those at the bottom get all the sheet. Young people nowadays are taught to eat each other or step on each other to reach the top & attain the proverbial 'success'. This is probably why Suzen felt that way about Asian upbringing.
I'm glad she knows better now & I'm glad you know better too. Together, the youth of today can transform our nation.
Hey, can I steal your quote : “Vulnerability is not about being weak. It’s not about giving a blow-by-blow account of your daily life on Facebook. Vulnerability... is having the courage to say ‘I’m sorry’ first. It’s about taking the risk to invest in someone else without a guarantee. It’s the ability to love without fear.”
ReplyDeleteIt's so good!