unspoken

for someone who makes a living out of stringing words together, i guess it's pretty ironic that i'd fall for someone i can barely communicate with in my first language. most of our conversations involve a mix of different languages, hand gestures, animated facial expressions, repeated attempts to get the message across, and occasional sighs of exasperation.

nobody thought you'd last - they said it was just a passing phase that i'd get over, just like i'd gotten over everyone else. it can't mean much, if you can't communicate with each other. how else can you really understand each other?

but what is communication, really? is it not the volumes that are spoken when eyes meet, fingers brush against skin, eyelids flutter over the nape of a neck? is it not noticing, then getting used to - and then finally, being able to anticipate - the little nuances and quirks that make up a person, from the way he tilts his head to one side when he's thinking, to the way she purses her lips when she's engrossed in her work? 

here we are, a million potential misunderstandings and misinterpreted signals later. so many things that could have been lost in translation. so many things left unspoken... or were they? 

i look around me and see so many people hinging their love on words - on how soon or how late she says those three words; on how he worded his proposal; on the affectionate names he calls or doesn't call. and i'm thankful for what we share. all this while, i thought i needed someone who thought in words, in prose and poetry like i did. someone who would validate the channel through which i most naturally express myself. 

but it turns out, it's the expression that matters. not the channel. when it comes to expressing love, there is more than one way to say it, and words may be the simplest and most obvious way. but not the only way. maybe not even the best way. 

we place so much expectation on words. and while i believe in the power of words, it is not only the words which are important, but what's behind the words. take that away and the words on their own are nothing - empty, hollow. 

but when you have the patience, understanding, empathy, and kindness that's behind the words, you can take the words away and it would mean the same thing. 

and you taught me that. you taught me that falling for someone at first sight is not as stupid as it sounds, if your eyes have been doing the talking. and i don't know, maybe i'm a little biased, but i'm thinking it's better this way. to meet each other halfway, not expecting to understand, nor expecting to be understood, but giving the chance to be understood. and taking the chance to understand. to graciously extend tolerance and acceptance for when communication fails, because we're human, and it always fails, sooner or later. the irony is that the faster you accept it, the less it happens.

so for that, thank you.

"...it is pointless to sing of the sea if you are lost in the sand." -tyler knott gregson