a code to contentment

it's been a crazy, crazy year. most days i feel like i'm scrambling to get through, and gasping for breath! in times like these, i find a lot of comfort in the stories of people who have gone through and are going through the same challenging seasons... and who are choosing to journey through them with lots of grace, positivity, and perspective.

one of them is linds, whom i've never met in person or even chatted to online, but found online through a comment she left on my blog. even though we live completely different lives somehow i always resonate with what she posts up!

she recently put together her 'code to contentment' that helps her navigate through the rocky, tumultuous waves of life and stay grateful through it all. i was incredibly inspired to do the same, so here's my code to contentment to help you kickstart another week ahead (in pictures, words, and song!):

crystal's code to contentment

1. choose my attitude.

"i choose to be the best that i can be.

i choose to be authentic in everything i do.

my past don't dictate who i am - i choose."

-i choose, india.arie

we all know people who have that 'victim' mentality. we probably have been that at points in our lives too. we know how it is. it's ugly. when you're always looking to point a finger, shift the blame, wallow in self-pity, and gripe about how much tougher you have it than everyone else. but it's a choice to rise above all that and choose to be better. 

2. enjoy the little things.

"there are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. when this happens, concentrate on the present. cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow." 

-ardis whitman

"i remember how I used to want it all 

funny now the big things seem so small 

i dream of simple things 

i can believe in 

like the feeling this day brings 

true love and the miracle of forgiving 

i believe in simple things"

-simple things, amy grant

i was never raised to place much importance on things and brands. even then, especially now that i've started working, it's hard not to be surrounded by materialism and people comparing themselves to each other. and so, i'm grateful i'm still able to appreciate the simple things, like a good cup of coffee and good conversation. 

3. don't wait for things to change, but be the change.

"i want to leave a legacy 

how will they remember me? 

did i choose to love enough 

to make a mark on things?"

-legacy, nichole nordeman

today, i came across this tweet that really made me think: 'Do you complain about the wind, hope the wind will stop or adjust your sails?' the first and second are essentially a waste of time, energy, and emotions. i'd rather channel them into changing the way i look at the situation, and essentially changing the situation itself. 

4. live the questions

"...have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." 

-rainer maria rilke, 1903, in letters to a young poet

"i’m letting go

of the life i planned for me

and my dreams

this is a giant leap of faith

trusting and trying to embrace

the fear of the unknown

beyond my comfort zone."

-i'm letting go, francesca battistelli

i've learned that the fastest way to become unhappy and dissatisfied with anything - a job, a partner, a life - is to try to control it. there is much freedom, liberty, and peace, in learning to let go and not have to always be in control. 

6. turn to saltwater.

i've found that there are very, very few things that a good run, a good beach getaway, or a good cry can't fix. 

5. focus on eternity

"they think that it's you

but they don't know that who you are

is not what you do

I don't want to gain the whole world

and lose my soul"

-lose my soul, tobymac

i listen to the above song almost every morning on my way to work. it keeps me sane, reminds me to look up, and helps me remember, in the midst of all the distractions of life, where i'm heading. 

hope my code to contentment in someway challenged or inspired you. what's your code of contentment? if you have one, please share! if not, why not spend some time writing yours too?

have a blessed week ahead!

serenity. courage. wisdom / sérénité. courage. sagesse.

"Mon Dieu, Donnez-moi la sérénité / D'accepter Les choses que je ne puis changer / Le courage De changer les choses que je peux / Et la sagesse D'en connaître la différence." -Prière de la Sérénité

after yesterday's therapeutic little meditation, i decided to spend some time on the ride home today sifting through the million and one thoughts and feelings going through my head and heart. i decided to be honest with myself and actually articulate them in words - and from there, get real and acknowledge that no, my thoughts and emotions don't all fall in the same category. just because i think something, doesn't make it right. just because i feel something, doesn't make it truth.

we all have 'wants' that will be better off unfulfilled. we all have resolutions we should stick to more. we have some things we need to be doing less. other things we need to be doing more. some emotions we need to let slide off us like water off a duck's back. others that are okay - no, even healthy - to take the time to process.

right now, my unrealistic 'want' list looks something like this:

• to wake up to european summer weather tomorrow morning
• to not have to spend an hour each way commuting to and from work
• to find out what if things could have worked out with that ex
• to have more than 24 hours in a day
• to be able to be energetic and perky after less than five hours of sleep
• my mum to somehow be less of a morning person that raps loudly on my door every morning
• my boyfriend to write me heart-melting love letters
• to run away from the daily grind of life and escape to an island and be a beach bum

my more achievable but also slightly-scary-to-attempt-achieving 'want' list looks like this:

• to feel as passionately about things as i did when i was a teenager and to be less damn cold and rational
• to be able to cry when i'm upset or frustrated instead of detaching
• to speak the truth more, more lovingly
• to get four-pack abs
• to run the stanchart marathon in 2:45
• to sleep in the next 15 minutes
• to get up and jog tomorrow morning
• to meet tomorrow's deadlines and kill that to-do list

so tonight, i'm asking for the serenity to accept that i won't be able to change the weather, laws of nature, and other people,

the courage to change myself - to be vulnerable, honest, and disciplined even though it's tough,

and the wisdom to recognise that being a beach bum would probably get old after awhile too.

the little joys / les petits bonheurs

"There are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. When this happens, concentrate on the present. Cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. Look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. Sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow." -Ardis Whitman

confession (it's been a long time since good ol' honest confession has taken place on this blog! somehow growing up tends to make one practice a lot more self-censorship all in the name of maintaining a certain image):

i've been having a mild quarter-life crisis for the past few weeks. and no, this is not a report to say the storm has passed and i see where i'm headed with absolute clarity now. i'm still torn between wanting to be incredibly driven and between taking it slow, between wanting my freedom and wanting to be dependent, and oh, just between a whole lot of things.

times like these, i write quotes like the above and paste them all over my bedroom walls for sanity. don't get me wrong - i love where i am, i love the people around me, i love life in general - but i guess none of us can avoid asking ourselves, especially in the late and lonely nights when you've had a bit too much indie music to listen to, is this all there is to this?

i guess that's part of growing up. learning to acknowledge and not deny that these feelings exist. but at the same time, not being ruled by them. learning to be expressive without necessarily being impulsive. don't get me wrong  - i'll always still be this spontaneous risk-taker, free-spirit at heart - but growing up means realising that your actions don't affect you alone, but a lot of other people as well.

and times like these, i try to focus on and count my les petits bonheurs.

like amazingly rich and delish affogato at the bee

chocolate-chip cookies

good food

good sleep

good people

the good book

live the questions

gentle encouragement

Some words that I've been needing to hear:

"Cherish your visions.
Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built."  -James Allen