serenity. courage. wisdom / sérénité. courage. sagesse.

"Mon Dieu, Donnez-moi la sérénité / D'accepter Les choses que je ne puis changer / Le courage De changer les choses que je peux / Et la sagesse D'en connaître la différence." -Prière de la Sérénité

after yesterday's therapeutic little meditation, i decided to spend some time on the ride home today sifting through the million and one thoughts and feelings going through my head and heart. i decided to be honest with myself and actually articulate them in words - and from there, get real and acknowledge that no, my thoughts and emotions don't all fall in the same category. just because i think something, doesn't make it right. just because i feel something, doesn't make it truth.

we all have 'wants' that will be better off unfulfilled. we all have resolutions we should stick to more. we have some things we need to be doing less. other things we need to be doing more. some emotions we need to let slide off us like water off a duck's back. others that are okay - no, even healthy - to take the time to process.

right now, my unrealistic 'want' list looks something like this:

• to wake up to european summer weather tomorrow morning
• to not have to spend an hour each way commuting to and from work
• to find out what if things could have worked out with that ex
• to have more than 24 hours in a day
• to be able to be energetic and perky after less than five hours of sleep
• my mum to somehow be less of a morning person that raps loudly on my door every morning
• my boyfriend to write me heart-melting love letters
• to run away from the daily grind of life and escape to an island and be a beach bum

my more achievable but also slightly-scary-to-attempt-achieving 'want' list looks like this:

• to feel as passionately about things as i did when i was a teenager and to be less damn cold and rational
• to be able to cry when i'm upset or frustrated instead of detaching
• to speak the truth more, more lovingly
• to get four-pack abs
• to run the stanchart marathon in 2:45
• to sleep in the next 15 minutes
• to get up and jog tomorrow morning
• to meet tomorrow's deadlines and kill that to-do list

so tonight, i'm asking for the serenity to accept that i won't be able to change the weather, laws of nature, and other people,

the courage to change myself - to be vulnerable, honest, and disciplined even though it's tough,

and the wisdom to recognise that being a beach bum would probably get old after awhile too.