serenity. courage. wisdom / sérénité. courage. sagesse.

"Mon Dieu, Donnez-moi la sérénité / D'accepter Les choses que je ne puis changer / Le courage De changer les choses que je peux / Et la sagesse D'en connaître la différence." -Prière de la Sérénité

after yesterday's therapeutic little meditation, i decided to spend some time on the ride home today sifting through the million and one thoughts and feelings going through my head and heart. i decided to be honest with myself and actually articulate them in words - and from there, get real and acknowledge that no, my thoughts and emotions don't all fall in the same category. just because i think something, doesn't make it right. just because i feel something, doesn't make it truth.

we all have 'wants' that will be better off unfulfilled. we all have resolutions we should stick to more. we have some things we need to be doing less. other things we need to be doing more. some emotions we need to let slide off us like water off a duck's back. others that are okay - no, even healthy - to take the time to process.

right now, my unrealistic 'want' list looks something like this:

• to wake up to european summer weather tomorrow morning
• to not have to spend an hour each way commuting to and from work
• to find out what if things could have worked out with that ex
• to have more than 24 hours in a day
• to be able to be energetic and perky after less than five hours of sleep
• my mum to somehow be less of a morning person that raps loudly on my door every morning
• my boyfriend to write me heart-melting love letters
• to run away from the daily grind of life and escape to an island and be a beach bum

my more achievable but also slightly-scary-to-attempt-achieving 'want' list looks like this:

• to feel as passionately about things as i did when i was a teenager and to be less damn cold and rational
• to be able to cry when i'm upset or frustrated instead of detaching
• to speak the truth more, more lovingly
• to get four-pack abs
• to run the stanchart marathon in 2:45
• to sleep in the next 15 minutes
• to get up and jog tomorrow morning
• to meet tomorrow's deadlines and kill that to-do list

so tonight, i'm asking for the serenity to accept that i won't be able to change the weather, laws of nature, and other people,

the courage to change myself - to be vulnerable, honest, and disciplined even though it's tough,

and the wisdom to recognise that being a beach bum would probably get old after awhile too.

2011 Thankfulness

Thought I'd just take some time to pause, rewind, and look back on some of the greatest blessings the past year has brought into my life (not in any particular order).

Amazing friendships - in particular the After-Alpha community

Conquering Mount Kinabalu, which has always been on my dream list

Naz and Mabel, who kept me sane through winter at the start of the year

The most annoying yet heart-meltingly adorable cat in the world

Finding my way back

Graduating with a Bachelor's Degree!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." -James 1:17

Thankful

My last post talked about feeling empty, and lacking.

So I thought it would be a good time to focus on the opposite - on abundance and fullness.

Despite what I lack, when I have some down time to stop and clear my head - usually stuck in a jam or on the LRT after work - I never fail to be reminded of the abundance of blessings that my life is flooded with.

I could do with more thankfulness. I think all of us could. There are a million and one things we take for granted every day, every moment, that we forget to say 'thank you' for.

Someone once said if the only prayer you ever said was "Thank you", that would be enough (Meister Eckhart). I completely agree. Except I would add "I'm sorry" to "Thank you." I think those four little words are the most important words anyone could ever learn.

So this is a thankful post, counting the dozens of blessings that have been showered on me.

I'm thankful for:

• Amazing friends
• Answered prayers for Good People to come into my life  
• Working for a company whose values I share and whose vision I can believe in
• Getting plugged back into a community of believers who come together in a way I've always dreamed to see - with no regards for denomination, without being judgemental or critical, but being real, admitting we're not perfect, and just doing life together as we learn to be more like Him
• Being reminded and inspired again to live each day as if it were my last while watching Jayesslee live
• The chance to be part of an amazing global competition with the prize of a year-long trip around the world for Good Causes
• A new PC
• Being able to afford brand new books
• Being challenged to think and dream bigger
• Discovering an awesome new chocolate cake recipe with Joanne
• Working together with an amazing team behind CultureRun's Big Idea
• An opportunity to climb Mount Kinabalu (which has always been on my bucket list) that appeared out of the blue
• The occasionally-crazy, but also the sweetest, most loving cat in the world that makes me look forward to coming home every day
• Home-baked goodness
• Inspiring and challenging conversations that leave me fired up to do more, live more, be more, love more
• His grace, that is always enough

My cup overflows.