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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Gentle, quiet days

You know you're too busy...

...if you've forgotten the last time you saw a sunset.

...if you don't remember what it feels like to answer the question with "How are you?" with anything but "Busy but good!"

...if you've forgotten what a home cooked meal feels like.

...if the only thing your conversations revolve around is work.

Not too long ago, I was having one of those "too busy" seasons. I told myself I was being productive, that this was normal, that I was busy because I was being a useful person. But as anyone who has been too busy knows, there is nothing productive and normal about feeling constantly rushed, hurried, impatient, and edgy.

I'm thankful for a boyfriend who cares enough to speak the truth to me, even if it sometimes stings. "You know, there's this saying - beware the barrenness of a busy life," he said to me, following one of my mini-breakdowns. I was feeling exhausted and drained - physically and emotionally - and I was in reactive mode,  simply responding to urgent things that needed to be done rather than taking charge of my to-do list and operating from a sense of vision and priority.

At times like that, you know it's time to pull the emergency brakes... or risk hurtling full speed towards disaster.

It's not easy making space for downtime - there is always something to do, something to meet up with, some errand to run, and the list goes on.

Fortunately, I have an amazing boyfriend. In full support of me getting some sanity back into my life (for his own sanity as well!), he cleared his calendar just as I cleared mine, and we took a little trip on a Saturday morning for some time out and just doing nothing together.



Days like these are seriously underrated. People don't talk enough about what a world of good it does - for clarity of mind, for renewed motivation, for one's self-esteem, for one's sense of purpose - to have days of just taking the time to rest, to recharge, to unplug from all the doing and to just be


To take time for a cuppa without a phone in hand, trying to reply e-mails at the same time, but to look another person in the eyes and have a full conversation without being interrupted by notifications and message alerts. Days where the noise of the world fades out, even if only for a little while, and you hear your heart whisper a little bit louder. Days that are gentle enough to remind you what breathing feels like.


Days to lose track of time, and enjoy the sweet simplicity of the bright blue skies, the scent of rain, and little trinkets of nature. To get lost in how small I really am when I look up and look around. To remember that in spite of my accomplishments and titles and my occasionally inflated sense of self-importance, I am only a small part of a bigger picture.



Days for holding hands... and for knowing that my heart is held as well, safely in the arms of a Creator who created me for doing good works - but also for enjoying the rest He gives.



“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." -Jeremiah 6:16

It dawned on me recently that I've been working for almost 3 years now. In recent months, I've started giving a portion of my income to my parents every month, I've signed up for an insurance policy, and I will be paying income tax for the first time this year! 

In the crossroads of growing up and learning what it means to be an adult (ohmygosh!), I'm realising that it's not the big, life-changing moments that define the kind of adult I'm growing into. It's the little actions, the every day tasks, the simple conversations with those around me that form habits, perspectives, and patterns of thinking and acting. 

I earnestly want the habits and patterns I'm forming to be the good ones. I want to be the kind of adult in the future that I would want to have as a mentor today.

And so I'm learning that rest is an important discipline to cultivate! Better now at the peak of my health than later, when it might be too late to reverse certain effects of neglecting to rest. I want the years that go by to produce in me a soul that is fuller, livelier, more at rest, more contented, more peaceful, rather than a soul that has allowed bitterness, cynicism, tiredness, compromise, or disillusionment to creep in. 

"Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." -Matthew 11:29 

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