Why I stopped waiting for someday

"You will always be waiting for tomorrow if you don’t start living for today. You will always be waiting for the next big thing to come: the job, the degree, the partner, the house, the time to travel, the money. Once you get into the mindset of perpetually waiting, you’ll also fall into the habit of not being okay with things as they are. More likely than not, you will get most of those things, and when they come, you won’t enjoy them because you will only be looking forward to the next thing. You may retaliate with, well, there’s nothing to be happy about now, but you have to learn to make it for yourself. You have to learn to see it." // Thought Catalog

Last week, I went on one of the best holidays of my life. You know, one of those totally-unplanned-spontaneous-random kind of vacations. The kind that involves trying many things for the first time, from walking along Welsh seaside cliffs in the summer to visiting an aquarium alone, to wandering through Camden Town, to trying out new hipster coffee joints in London; the kind that involves travelling alone, travelling with friends, and making many new friends along the way.

I don't know why I waited so long to take such a holiday. In fact, I didn't deliberately take the holiday - it more of came to me, suggested and encouraged by people along the way who probably knew I was in dire need of a long overdue break.

I'd been telling myself I don't have the budget to go away somewhere and enjoy myself, that my team at work needed me too much for me to possibly think of escaping for a week, that a holiday wouldn't be as fun without my partner or close friends, and that travelling alone was lonely (I'd travelled alone last year, and while I enjoyed most of it, I hated being alone at night, long plane / train / bus rides solo, and standing alone at cold, windy train stations with no warm arm to hold on to).

And so I was subconsciously waiting. Waiting for the ideal situation to get away. Waiting for things to settle down at work. Waiting to save 'enough'. Waiting for friends to block out the dates on their busy calendars so we could plan a getaway together. Waiting to get married, even, silly as it sounds, so I could travel conveniently with my other half.

In hindsight, it seems ridiculous. I don't know how I could've tried so hard to resist a getaway that was so deliciously refreshing and soul-rejuvenating, because it's taught me so much.

I've learned that my team can survive a week without me. That I don't need to be with my best buddies or be married to find fun travelling companions. That somehow even on a tiny budget, enough comes along once you make the decision to go. Wow, big surprises there.

I've learned that it's okay to have fun alone. That having fun alone doesn't mean you don't think about the ones you left behind any less; that it's possible to enjoy yourself and miss someone at the same time; that you're not caring any less by doing that; that by doing so, you're making the most of the only thing you have any real control over - where you are right now, in the present. And I think I've finally stopped telling myself I have commitment issues, and accepted the fact that it is completely possible to be both independent and attached at the same time. I can choose to stay tied to my roots, while not letting them dictate my happiness or state of mind.

I've learned that making new friends means more people to say 'goodbye' to, and while goodbyes are never fun, they are bearable. I used to be the kind of emotionally stunted person who started distancing myself every time another friend started making plans to go abroad, because I just didn't know how to say goodbye. I suppose in some way, I was trying to protect myself from the yucky feelings that come with goodbyes. But I've learned that sometimes just blurting out "OMG I'm going to miss you!" makes the yucky feelings slightly more bearable. And it also brings you that much closer to people.

I've been reminded that I don't spend close to enough time alone. That there's so much self-searching and reflection that can be done in a simple hour-long walk around the neighbourhood on a blustery day.

I've learned that strangers can make for pretty good conversation, once I forget my shyness and Asian paiseh-ness and just speak my mind or initiate a greeting first.

I've learned that go-with-the-flow doesn't have to be stressful - that it's possible to plan to have no plans, and let things catch you by surprise! That I don't have to have a meltdown if I got on the wrong Tube line but I can spend my time people-watching the interesting characters around me; and that if plans fall through to meet one friend I can always schedule a meeting with another.

Most importantly, I've learned that while sometimes waiting is good because it teaches you patience, other times, waiting is simply living in denial. If it's an ideal situation we're waiting for, it will never come.

I've learned that life is all about choices. We choose to be as content or happy as we want to be. We choose to be as calm and exuberant about each day as we want to be. We choose to be as busy or stressed as we want to be. We choose to work as fast or walk as slowly or love as hard as we want to. We choose to see things as we want to see them.

And we choose if we want to keep waiting for 'someday' or 'The One' to come, or if we want to get up and make today a special, beautiful, wonderful day, and to love the ones we do have in our lives right now.

To sum it up with a quote from the wise ol' Albert Einstein, here's why sometimes we just can't afford to wait any longer and just gotta get with it:

What good arguments look like and why they're so important to a relationship

This morning I had a little tiff with the partner over something trivial - one of those "I thought you knew", "But you didn't say", "But it goes without saying", "But you also didn't say" kinda things.

After about ten minutes into the conversation, when it started to get a little silly, I exclaimed in frustration, "It doesn't make sense - I don't even know who's wrong or what's wrong and it's so frustrating!" To which he calmly replied, "Things don't always have to make sense. There's nothing wrong. It's just that you have a mind of your own, and I have a mind of my own, and we're both trying to work at understanding each other. That's all."

And immediately it hit me how true that was - arguments don't always need to make sense, and they don't always need to have a clear winner or loser. The reason arguments happen - the good ones at least - is because two people who express themselves and see things very differently are simply trying to get across to each other in the way that they know how.

He laughed and reminded me of the arguments we had just a few weeks ago when his phone stopped working properly and every phone call was barely audible and a test in patience. I truly believed that the faulty phone was the main reason for our arguments, but even with his new phone, here we were again, bickering over something else. "See, whether or not we have problems with our phones, whether we have frequent connectivity or contact with each other or not, as long as there is communication, there will be misunderstandings."

It's true - arguments are never just about what is being argued over. It's not just about that thing or that situation or that comment or that mistake - it's about individual hearts longing to be understood, frustrated at not being able to understand.

We continued the conversation over a good dinner at a beautiful restaurant, which led to a little bit more understanding, and eventually trailed off to other topics, interspersed by bouts of jokes and laughter. Even though the day was started on a tense note, it eventually ended on a great one. And that's what good arguments should do for a relationship.

Good arguments should leave you with a little bit more insight into what makes the other person ticks - they should bring you closer together, in fact. Because with each argument, you understand that much more about the person than anyone else does. It's not just the happy, good moments together that strengthen the foundation of a relationship. It's every single thing that makes the relationship you share unique, special, intimate, and exclusive - including the arguments. 

Fiery Tom Yum at BBQ Thai

If you fancy being whisked away to the land of smiles for a night but can't afford the flight ticket, BBQ Thai might just be your answer. The restaurant has been opened since the beginning of the year and attracts plenty of customers nightly, packing full house crowds on weekends.

Dining is al fresco style at BBQ Thai, and the moment you step into the compound you are greeted by the sight of small private dining rooms in quaint little colourful huts, accesorised with quirky chic deco and the odd tuk tuk.

The restaurant offers both Thai BBQ meat platters as well as more staple Thai street fare, such as fried rice and noodles, as well as tom yum and the green / red curries.

Serving sizes are huge, so it is advisable to go in a group of friends so you can try a larger variety of dishes. Between two of us, we shared a small pot of tom yum (RM15 - chicken; RM20 - seafood), which turned out to be huge, easily serving 3-4 people, a plate of Thai-style fried kuey teow (RM14), and a dish of stir-fried paku-pakis (RM13). All in, plus drinks, the bill came to about RM47 for two, reasonable considering there were leftovers to tapau home!

Warning: Their spicy tom yum soup, while being strong-bodied, potent, and flavourful, is not for the faint-of-heart. It packs a whopping punch, leaving your stomach on fire long after you've finished your meal!

When it's not too packed, service is top-notch, with our food arriving in less than 10 minutes. On another occasion when the place was busier, however, staff were unhelpful and service was slow, so try to visit this place on weekdays instead of weekends.

The place is pretty simple to find. From the Mid Valley circle, turn out to Old Klang Road and immediately keep to the left. On the left side of the main road, you'll be able to spot a bright neon pink sign with the restaurant name on it. There's ample parking in the vicinity for customers only.

BBQ Thai 
17 Lorong Jugra
Off Batu 3 1/3, Jalan Klang Lama
58000 Kuala Lumpur
Tel:  03-79819888

Introducing the Samsung 4G Chromebook: A new way to look at personal computing

I am an unabashed early adopter with an ardent enthusiasm for all things new. Whenever Facebook or Google+ gets an interface makeover, or when Gmail sneakily slips in new features and buttons without warning, instead of moaning about how I'll have to get adjusted to the new layout all over again, it gives me a renewed sense of purpose to continue visiting the site, to see what else it can now do.

So when I was given one of the earlier versions of the Samsung 4G Chromebook for work use at the start of this year, way before it was launched to the public last weekend, I was thrilled. And after personally using the Chromebook for a few months now, I can honestly say that the Chromebook is my new favourite device, among my smartphone, iPad, laptop, and desktop.

In fact, I've barely touched my tablet and laptop since the Chromebook came around. My phone has been relegated primarily for calling and messaging purposes, and I only fire up my desktop PC because I need to use Adobe Creative Suite software. For everything else, there's the Chromebook.

After demoing and selling the Chromebooks at our launch roadshow over the weekend, the most frequent questions I've encountered are the following, and the answers I give are below:

1. How will I use my Microsoft office software on the Chromebook? Is it compatible if I need to send files to other people who use Microsoft?
With Google Drive, you have web equivalents of your common Microsoft software, such as Docs instead of Microsoft Word, Presentations instead of PowerPoint, and Spreadsheets instead of Excel. For most of the functions of these programs, Google Drive is a formidable alternative. The benefits of using Google Drive is that you don't have to a) pay for software licensing, and b) constantly update your Microsoft Office suite every year. The Chromebook automatically updates itself every 6 weeks, so it always stays new, without the need to download / buy / run / install anything at all. And files created on Google Drive can be exported into all the commonly used file formats, no there is no compromise on compatibility with other operating systems.

2. Is it really that easy to use?
Yup. If you know how to surf the web, you know how to use a Chromebook. There is no OS on the Chromebook - it runs purely on the web. It doesn't lag or slow down over time, and it takes just 8 seconds to start up from the time you press the "On" button.

3. What is the processor / hardware that the Chromebook uses?
It uses the Samsung Exynos 5 processor. While I am no techie person, I asked one of the product guys to explain the benefits of the processor to me, and what he explained was that basically, the processor belongs to the same family of processors used in mobile devices such as the Samsung SIII and the Galaxy Note (both use the Exynos 4 processor). What that means is that it is designed for lightweight mobile devices and therefore, it is very energy-efficient and doesn't heat up the computer. I can personally attest to the fact that even after hours of continuous use, being laid completely flat on a table or on your lap, the Chromebook doesn't get hot at all. It also uses a 16GB solid-state drive, so that browsing speeds are at an optimal level.

4. So I need to be connected to the Internet all the time to use the Chromebook? That's quite inconvenient / expensive.
In today's world, most of what you do on a computer requires an Internet connection anyway. If you live in urban / suburban areas, your office and home will likely have wireless connectivity that is already paid for. The Chromebook is WiFi-enabled so you can switch to that setting when you're in areas with wireless Internet. The Chromebook also comes with a built-in 4G chip that connects you to the Yes 4G network, so even if you are on the go, you don't need any third-party external device (eg. a USB Dongle / a mobile hotspot) to get connected to the web.

5. Basically it can do whatever a tablet can do, so why should I get a Chromebook?
At just 1.08kg, the Chromebook is only slightly heavier than a tablet, so it gives you the mobility of a tablet (I actually stick my Chromebook into my handbag almost daily) - but with the richer experience of a laptop. Without a keyboard, and with a smaller screen, the browsing experience is significantly slowed down and diluted on a tablet. So yes, you can do essentially the same things on a tablet - but why would you, when you can have the full laptop experience at a fraction of the weight (and price)?

Some other things that I think are pretty sweet about making the switch over to the Chrome OS:

• The Chrome Web Store boasts plenty of free and beautifully designed apps, most of which are compatible across PC / Android / Mac - no more paying for apps that you can only use on a selective system (*cough* like Apple *cough*). 
• The Chromebook comes with 100GB of cloud storage space on Drive that can be assigned to any Gmail address (you can reuse your existing ID if you don't want to switch over to a new one). 
• No more worrying about viruses or trojans because there is no OS to attack.
• If your device gets damaged / stolen / lost, not only are your files safely stored in the cloud, but you can also prevent anyone else from gaining access to your files, because everything is tied to your personal ID and password, plus, if you've forgotten to log out, you can always log in on any other devices and force log your ID out of any other locations it is signed in to. Your information has never been this safe before! (Disclaimer: As long as you don't forget your password! But with increasing integration between different cloud-based services, how hard is it to remember just one ID and password?)
• Google Drive has no "Save" button, because everything saves automatically, and you can revert to older revisions of any document based on the timestamp. So if you accidentally delete your work or do something silly, you can rest assured that your work will not be gone just like that.

To sum it up, as a TIME tech author eloquently put it, "the point of Chromebooks isn't Chromebooks". The point of Chromebooks is not about the device at all. The point is to make devices irrelevant. The release of the new 4G Chromebook heralds a new era in technology - one that is built not on latest versions of programs and hardware, but on a web- and cloud-centric view of personal computing.

To understand more about how the Chromebook works, watch this video:

Or, visit this website.

Feedly: An clean, simple alternative to Google Reader

Earlier this year, Google announced that they would be retiring Google Reader from service this July. Like many other avid readers, my first reaction was one of horror - where else would I access all my feeds in an aggregator as efficient and minimalist as Google Reader?

One of the popular aggregators at the moment is Flipboard, which is beautiful, yes, but it's designed primarily for mobile device use, and casual browsing, not to consolidate, tag, and archive a huge amount of feeds like Google Reader. It's visually-driven, which means slower loading times and a reading experience that doesn't quite cut it (you have to click out of the reader to read a long text post). I mostly use Google Reader for well, reading my news articles and blogs filled with lengthy reflections on life, so Flipboard just doesn't do it for me.

Feedly - where the minimalistic, sleek look of Flipboard meets the efficiency of Google Reader

And then I discovered Feedly while searching for alternatives on the Chrome Web Store. A straight-forward, no-fuss, simple feed reader that does for me what Google Reader does. It automatically migrates all my 100+ feed subscriptions to its reader, sorts out what I've read and what's new quite similarly to how Google Reader does, it allows you to tag / save for later individual posts, and has seamless sharing buttons for all the major social networking sites.

I am one happy camper now that I know my feeds have made the migration over to an equally capable aggregator. Also, I am so impressed that after automatically migrating all my feeds from Reader, Feedly intelligently sorted them based on their content into broad categories, placing my John Maxwell feeds under "Leadership and Development", for example, and all my food blogs under "Food & Living". Impressive.

Have I mentioned how clean and beautiful the Feedly interface is too?