I recently watched the film Anna Karenina, a dark and intense study on the human emotions of love, lust, jealousy, betrayal, forgiveness, and selfishness. Based on the novel by Russian writer Leo Tolstoy, the plot revolves around married aristocrat Anna Karenina, who gets involved in an affair with the affluent and charming Count Vronsky.
When her husband eventually found out about the affair, he confronts her in the most gracious and gentle way, and tells her, "I want you not to meet that man here, and to conduct yourself so that neither the world nor the servants can reproach you... not to see him. That's not much, I think. And in return you will enjoy all the privileges of a faithful wife without fulfilling her duties."
Two words from that line especially struck me. Privileges and duties.
Just like the famous quote from Spiderman, "With great power comes great responsibility," with every privilege comes a duty. With every blessing, a commitment is required. And when we try to shed ourselves of the 'burden' of duty, of commitment, of faithfulness, we end up in a dark spiral downwards, as Anna found herself in.
It got me thinking that the human soul was never made to handle limitless success, power, and privilege. Our mortal souls and volatile emotions cannot handle abundance without boundaries. Laws and guidelines, rather than restricting our privileges, help us fully enjoy them in a manner that we are actually capable of. And the more committed, the more duty-bound, and the more faithful we are, we find that the greater our capacity becomes to enjoy the blessings we have.
Some of the "freest" people, who seemingly have all the liberty and privilege to do what they please, when they please, as they please - are also the most deeply unsatisfied because no matter how they chase after their desires and passions, it is never enough, just like the attention Anna received from Count Vronsky was never enough. She constantly battled the inner demons that reminded her of how deeply unsatisfied she felt, eventually taking her own life in despair.
On the contrary, the happiest, most contented people I know are people who are faithful, consistent, trustworthy, dependent, stable. Their lives are uncomplicated, their motives are undivided, their hearts are devoted. That's the kind of person I want to be. I have not always been a faithful person in the past, and I used to find myself saying a lot, "I'm good at starting things but not so great at finishing them."
This year, I've let go of many things that are just not so much a priority, so I can invest myself fully - my time, my energy, my emotions - on the things that are priorities. Because I don't just want to start those things well, or even finish well, but to do the in-between well too.
Growing up as a pastor's kid and a homeschooler, freedom and independence was something I used to fight and claw my way for as a teen. I used to think, I can't wait to start working, so I'll have an income to spend as I like, freedom from parents, and I can finally travel the world, make my own decisions and do things the way I want to do them.
Now, as a young working adult, a little bit older and wiser, I've come to learn the hard way that freedom without limits just isn't worth it. That there is more joy and peace found in doing things the right way. That you cannot put a pricetag on integrity and being able to go to bed at night with your soul at rest because you know in your heart that you are right with God. That is to me, more precious and priceless than all other privileges I could ever have.
When her husband eventually found out about the affair, he confronts her in the most gracious and gentle way, and tells her, "I want you not to meet that man here, and to conduct yourself so that neither the world nor the servants can reproach you... not to see him. That's not much, I think. And in return you will enjoy all the privileges of a faithful wife without fulfilling her duties."
Two words from that line especially struck me. Privileges and duties.
Just like the famous quote from Spiderman, "With great power comes great responsibility," with every privilege comes a duty. With every blessing, a commitment is required. And when we try to shed ourselves of the 'burden' of duty, of commitment, of faithfulness, we end up in a dark spiral downwards, as Anna found herself in.
It got me thinking that the human soul was never made to handle limitless success, power, and privilege. Our mortal souls and volatile emotions cannot handle abundance without boundaries. Laws and guidelines, rather than restricting our privileges, help us fully enjoy them in a manner that we are actually capable of. And the more committed, the more duty-bound, and the more faithful we are, we find that the greater our capacity becomes to enjoy the blessings we have.
Some of the "freest" people, who seemingly have all the liberty and privilege to do what they please, when they please, as they please - are also the most deeply unsatisfied because no matter how they chase after their desires and passions, it is never enough, just like the attention Anna received from Count Vronsky was never enough. She constantly battled the inner demons that reminded her of how deeply unsatisfied she felt, eventually taking her own life in despair.
On the contrary, the happiest, most contented people I know are people who are faithful, consistent, trustworthy, dependent, stable. Their lives are uncomplicated, their motives are undivided, their hearts are devoted. That's the kind of person I want to be. I have not always been a faithful person in the past, and I used to find myself saying a lot, "I'm good at starting things but not so great at finishing them."
This year, I've let go of many things that are just not so much a priority, so I can invest myself fully - my time, my energy, my emotions - on the things that are priorities. Because I don't just want to start those things well, or even finish well, but to do the in-between well too.
Growing up as a pastor's kid and a homeschooler, freedom and independence was something I used to fight and claw my way for as a teen. I used to think, I can't wait to start working, so I'll have an income to spend as I like, freedom from parents, and I can finally travel the world, make my own decisions and do things the way I want to do them.
Now, as a young working adult, a little bit older and wiser, I've come to learn the hard way that freedom without limits just isn't worth it. That there is more joy and peace found in doing things the right way. That you cannot put a pricetag on integrity and being able to go to bed at night with your soul at rest because you know in your heart that you are right with God. That is to me, more precious and priceless than all other privileges I could ever have.
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