The first thing. The most important thing. The only thing.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God... and all these things will be added to you." // Matthew 6:33

The first week of the year was a hectic, but good one. I managed to accomplish all the things I set out to do, and I was feeling pretty productive. By the time the weekend rolled around, however, I found myself completely drained. Emotionally, mentally, and physically tired. I found myself asking God how after such a fulfilling week, I could end up feeling this way - frustrated at myself for not being able to do more, and just basically feeling lifeless and joy-less. After all, I'd been doing everything right - organising my priorities, setting my goals for the month and year ahead, and even managing to journal and read my Bible daily.

And then He spoke. Calmly and gently through my worrying and tiredness, bringing focus and clarity. Humbling me. Quieting my heart and reminding me of what matters.

"Am I number one in your life? Not just above the distractions of life - but even above the good things? Are you giving me your entire day or just a calendar booking in the middle of it? You can have all the right intentions and methods, and you can tick all the boxes, but do you remember what I'm really after?

I'm after your heart - I'm after all of you. I want to be the center of your life, not just a part of it. I want to be more than a nice-to-have - I want you to experience the height, the depth, the reality of my presence - which transcends all your fears, worries, doubt and busyness.

Are you trying to find rest the logical way? In more hours of sleep, in more rigid timetables, in getting more organised, in exercise? They're good things, but they are not Me. I am God not just for the good days, but for days of need and emptiness, and I. want. you. to. know. that. That is the most important thing to know. Not just know it in your head, but to experience my strength when you are weak, my joy when you are frustrated, my peace when all around is chaos. When you say you want to experience me, do you want to experience some airy-fairy, feel-good notion of me, or do you want to experience Me?"

"...the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” // Luke 10:41-42